Hearts at Home

Suzie Eller

Shelby, age 7, says, “God gets sad if you tell a lie, or if you hurt someone, or if you sneeze on someone on purpose."

Sara, age 6, says “God is in love with your heart. He made people with hearts and he also made trees. But people are harder to make than trees.”

It’s a simple view of faith, and I wish it remained that way. But having worked with teens, I see many youth arrive at the teen years with mixed messages, confused precepts, and often a hunger to know God in more than a hanging-out-in-a-pew kind of way.

What are teens saying about God?

Amanda, age 18, says, “I am constantly being stretched to love God more passionately, to pursue Him more wholeheartedly, and to minister to those around me.”

Gemma, age 13, says, “My parents could impact my faith if they would believe it themselves.”

Janelle, age 15 says, “I need to figure out some things on my own, including where I stand with God and making God my own instead of my parents’ God.”

My parents didn’t know how to show me God, so as a child I didn’t believe in Him. When I became a Christian in my teen years, it changed my life, but not my home life. Later, as a young mom I wanted to show my children who God was, and to help them know him personally. I read books. Experts gave me formulas. Others just laid down the law—do this, do that, voila’ you’ve got a Christian kid.

But over time I realized that most of what I taught my children about God didn’t come from a Bible or a family night devotion time or a set of rules. Perhaps the most powerful “lessons” taught to my children came in the harder times for our family. As they matured they looked at me – at my responses to life and to God in the midst of good times and hard times – to see who God was. It shaped their faith much more than words or sermons.

Paul the apostle said, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice” (Phil. 4:9).

That almost sounds arrogant, doesn’t it? Shouldn’t he be saying, “follow Christ” or “know God” or “these are the rules that you can follow to stay on the straight and narrow”? No, instead he humbly says, “learn from me as I follow Christ and put it into practice in my every day life”.

You see, teens hear a thousand messages about faith. Hostile messages. Unfounded messages. Mixed messages. After a while, words blend together into a roaring hum. But what do they see when they look at you, mom? Do they see a vibrant relationship with an amazing God? Do they see you trusting him? Do they know that what you have is genuine beyond the church walls or committee meetings or traditions?

Maybe your teen is struggling to define his faith. That can be scary. But let’s look at it a different way. They are trying to define what they believe, and why. Many parents begin to micromanage their teen’s faith during this time, and their own faith life gets a little shaky as they look to God as if to say, “don’t you see what’s happening here?” He does. God loves your teen even more than you. He holds the blueprint of your son or daughter’s DNA in his hands and heart. Keep attending church as a family and honoring God, but understand that Christ didn’t drag you to the foot of the cross, nor does He expect you to drag your child to Him. Pray. Trust. Let God be so vibrant in your life that when they are ready, they know where to turn.

Maybe today you are one of those moms who feels a little pulled thin as you drive your teens (and their friends) to youth events or help them raise funds for youth activities, camp, or mission trips. If you are, I want you to know how amazing that is. I would have given a million dollars for a mom like that when I was a teen. If your teen is running toward God, take a moment and thank God—and then run with him or her.

For more from Suzie, check out http://realteenfaith.com.

Comments (5)

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Your Teens Faith Walk
written by Beth Van Bebber, July 15, 2008

Suzie, this is Beth from Budapest! Hello! Thanks for such an encouraging message in your blog about teens faith walk. Now that I have 2 out of 3 teens in my home I am trying to learn how not to "drag" them to the cross, but to encourage and guide them into thier own spiritual journay with Christ and not just ride their parent's spiritual adventure. We are blessed with three great kids and can see how God is working in them, but as you said, it is what they see that speaks volums. I pray that in my ups and downs, Christ is still clearly seen, even through my faults. Thanks for encouraging and helping us be the Moms our teens need in all areas of our lives.! Come visit up again here in Budapest any time! Beth

Hey Beth!
written by Suzie Eller, July 16, 2008

Budapest was one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited. Just this past week I was reading a book and it was set in Budapest and the description of the bridge and the Danube and the city took my breath away one more time. It is so great to hear from you. Please tell everyone I said hello! I love what you have to say. You are right. We do get to encourage them into their own journey, and what a privilege that is.

Being a Christian Teenager
written by Natalie, July 17, 2008

I received Christ as a young child and have fond memories, but what I remember was my walk during my teen years. I was involved with a youth group and they felt like a family to me. It was fun and I drew nearer to God. As a mom, I took my kids to Sunday School and VBS, but did not have the info or advice from others on how to make God more tangible in their day to day lives. This was really evident when my son, Branden, at 16 became a Christian and got baptized. His eyes were opened and he was on fire for the Lord. As he excitedly shared some of his new revelations, I mentioned something about Sunday School and other times he had learned lessons in church. He gave me a blank stare and said, "You mean... I went to church as a child and we were Christians?" I could not believe it, he didn't remember any of the things from his childhood experiences going to church! That's okay, the Holy Spirit was giving him little morsels along the way that all became truer when his heart burst open for the Lord! I am so proud of my son, and so thankful that our Heavenly Father uses many different ways to bring the lost sheep into His flock.

how awesome
written by Suzie Eller, July 17, 2008

I love that you are such an encourager of your son's faith, Natalie. You are right. There are many ways that God draws us. Sometimes I think we lose sight of that. God draws each one of us to Himself, and that journey is individual. It's seeing authentic faith and relationship that speaks volumes to this generation. You sound like an awesome mom.

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