Hearts at Home

First come the catalogs, then the commercials, then the Christmas carols. Before we've even carved the Thanksgiving turkey, it's apparent that Christmas is coming – along with the Christmas crazies.

By early December we're all so wound up, especially our small children, that it seems legitimate to wonder if we'll all survive til Christmas is over.

How do we keep ourselves and our families from the Christmas crazies during the Christmas season?

Here are some simple suggestions:

First, rearrange things at your house:

• Turn off the commercials.This is a good time to limit how much television you and your children watch.
• Put away the catalogs, or at least keep them out of your child's sight.
• Don't play Christmas carols exclusively.
• Don't put up your decorations or tree too soon.
• Don't talk about Christmas - and everything you have to do to get ready for it - non-stop as soon as Thanksgiving is over.
• Keep family routines as normal as possible as long as you can during the holiday season.
• Make everything connected to Christmas something special, not just part of frantic preparations.
• Encourage your child to pay attention to other things happening around her – a first snowfall, a bird feeder outside your window, books that feature wintry themes.

Then, refocus.

In our culture Christmas has become a secular celebration, at least in part. Many businesses count on the months from October through December for their annual profit margin as shoppers buy everything from gifts to favorite foods to airline tickets. It stands to reason, given the need for profit, that advertisers push as hard as they can to capture our business.

Christmas is also, mainly, a Christian religious holiday. If your family belongs to a church, your children may take part in a Christmas program, or participate in a project like Operation Christmas Child where children help prepare a shoebox of gifts for children who otherwise won't receive any. Encourage your child to turn her exuberance and energy to these projects rather than focusing on her own wish list.

Choose Christmas activities that reinforce your values and beliefs. Try these ideas:

• Balance Christmas fun, glitz, and merry-making with activities that help your child understand your values and beliefs.
• Be intentional about sharing activities, stories, and songs that ground your celebration in your faith.
• Don't use Christmas as background noise. If you are doing something Christmas-related, give it  your full attention. Really listen to Christmas music. Focus on Christmas stories. Be alert to opportunities to spread Christmas cheer.

Finally, reframe the holiday as a time to give. 

• Encourage your child to think first of others and what he can do for them.
• Draw  “secret friends” within your family, and find ways to help or bless the person whose name you've drawn. If your children are very small, help them think of things they might do for their secret friend. Have a special “reveal” on Christmas morning.
• Choose someone in your neighborhood for your family to be a secret friend to. Look for an older couple, a single mom, or a family with a new baby. Work together to think about what would  delight, bless and help your secret friend, then figure out a way to do it without being found out.
• Help your child think about what gifts he wants to give. While he may be making gifts in his class at school for you, encourage him to think about his brothers and sisters, his grandparents, even aunts, uncles, and cousins. A gift may be as simple as a special picture he's drawn or a box of cookies he's helped you bake and decorate. It might be more complex - look for kid-friendly gift and craft ideas you can help him make in seasonal books and magazines at your local library, or online at websites like www.familyfun.com .         
• Let your child wrap the gifts she gives. When it's time to give the gift, be sure she gets to make the presentation.

We are all susceptible to the Christmas crazies. They manifest themselves differently according to age: small children get hyper; adults just get tired. Impulse control disappears.

Rearrange, refocus, and reframe for the kind of Christmas season you can celebrate with joy.

Holly Schurter is wife to John and mom of eight, grandma of nine, and a volunteer with Hearts at Home on the publications team as well as the radio team. She works as a free-lance writer, and in her spare time likes to read, bake, and play in the garden.